So my Golden Retriever Chance really adores stuffed animals. Being a retriever, not only does he greet you with a plush toy but also has a tendency to carry around socks and dish towels. Being a rescued dog that was abandoned and on the streets for several months, he has anxiety about going outside, so he takes his toys with him. Lately he’s been leaving his bright pink stuffed pig out in the yard. So Thursday the pig was out in the grass. Friday the pig was last seen on the back porch near the door. Saturday morning it was found wedged in between the pickets of the fence…as if it was part of some ritualistic sacrifice, left there on the stake to bake in the sun. So all of us are just standing around like this…
Saying things like…”Did you put it there?”
“I don’t know how it got there”
“How the fuck did it get there?!?
Did it walk off the porch, crawl up the fence and straddle the damn thing?”
Despite that weird occurrence, we then find a MUTILATED bird left on our porch in the place where the stuffed pig was. A REAL bird…like NO body, just the FUCKING WINGS. WHAT THE FUCK.
So now we’ve concluded that perhaps an owl/hawk picked up the pig, realized it wasn’t a carcass, dropped it on the fence, returned and then, proceeded to murder and ingest a real bird, leaving us the remains as a fuck you from the beast for confusing it/bruising his ego.
GET SOME FUCKING GLASSES OWL/MYSTERY BEAST!
Chance has a Valentine and humping buddy now. #pets #dogs #love #instagood
Do you mind?! #chance #dogs #pets #instagood
Theres a pillow fort in the living room and a big golden in the middle of it! #dogs #pets #instagood
Someone is hiding under the kitchen table and hoarding all the toys. Chance’s cornucopia. #pets #dogs #hungergames #instagood
“Jesse…stop taking pictures of me when I’m trying to nap.” #dogs #pets #cute #instagood #instagram #iphone
What Mom what?! #chance #dogs #chillin #boss
He’s smiling because he’s on the couch like a boss. #dogs #pets #love #chance #instagood #iphone
Just a normal conversation with Nick. #dogs #lol #ball-less
WHY DO CATS AND DOGS LOSE ALL COORDINATION WHEN YOU PUT SOMETHING ON THEIR FEET
GO HOME ANIMALS, YOU ARE DRUNK
Someone has had a rough week but loves his new toy!! #dogs #pets #instagood
You brought Mommy a disgusting, filthy, slobbery penguin when she got home? Awe you shouldn’t have! #dogs #love #instagood #pets
Why must you carry around my socks? #instagood #pets #dogs
Part deux. 16 1/2 years old. #dogs #pets